Rated R - Toilet Talk Graphic "word imagery"

Hello! First off - while my tongue for texture spots are growing more accustomed to the "beef minced" here.....my internal thermostat is adjusting slowly as well. Leaving below zero F temps and arriving at high 70's to low 90's here has been a whammy! The typical winter/spring days of 60's have been quite comfortable to me...

TODAY IT'S RAINING!

I mean I looked out and saw pitter patter on PUDDLES on the street! No rainstorm like Michigan gets of course. It says 61 degrees F and I'm chilly - yep, the kids have long pants on, I am wearing longsleeves! ha! but I refuse to wear jeans ;) It just seems coolish ;) is that a word? ah - it's not the word I'll mess up on here. LOL

Joshua missed his incentive sticker today - last day of school and last subject - math - he has an empty spot....and I dare to imagine it won't happen again for awhile....he was devastated. I haven't decided what it will be for Jasmine yet that she'll get. I'm thinking of instead of letting Joshua have 30 min in the soccer field while Jasmine watches...to allow our next sports club trip to be that she gets extra time on the playground which OH SAD! it won't allow any time on the soccer field ;) double whammy for Joshua..isn't that sad? tee hee! Otherwise, our 2nd week of homeschooling has gone really well...and no, my lake friends...I didn't even use duct tape

LOLOL

it's only a threat, people..helps me release my negative energy to envision how much duct tape would help eliminate any stress in the family HA!

So here's my toilet talk!!!

I did not take this photo myself, sorry to disappoint ;) I loaded it off yahoo images.


When Mr. Thomas took us out to supper last week before our Falooca (ok, it's NOT a hard c or g, reminds me of Hangul! so I thought it could be a g sound, it's a c sound) before we took him on the Falooca trip......we went to TGI Friday's..it is a nice family restaurant. Rob says it really is a nice place...so it's not just cuz it was my first time not cooking and eating along the Nile ;)

It's not "fancy" by American standards, but truly like a nice family restaurant in Michigan. OK....so.....we're gone from the flat a LONG time, we all need to go potty.

I learned 2 lessons this night. First...when visiting a "new" country, investigate what public facilities are like. Second, always carry a roll of tp in Egypt NO MATTER WHAT. And lastly - just a thankful reminder of my American OCD - I **do** carry wipes!

Apparently, in Egypt not only at the club but at nicer restaurants, there is an employee in the bathroom - to help with what, I am unsure...but that was a funny conversation...when I asked if she spoke English, she said yes, I asked if she was in line, she said "no, I work" I had a hard time not laughing...seeing how the 2 stalls were occupied, so me, my kids, her and 2 adults were seriously body to body...what work could be done? I may have it figured out now....but I may not?

OK so...one stall is open, woman comes out....I look first to see how many wipes to grab to clean the toilet.

Umm..people...I didn't clean the toilet, I instructed Joshua if he had to go #2, we were going home! if he had to pee, he was going to stand up and not touch anything. I whispered this..does he get my drift?

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

He says out loud w/ disgust and horror only mustered by a child of mine - blushing

WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY IS IT WET EVERYWHERE??? OH AND LOOK...A HOSE FOR CLEANING YOUR BUTT!

now everyone else is snickering and Jasmine says "what did he say" cuz I think she's as confused about what he said as I am baffled he said it out loud!

I whisper...we'll talk about it later...

2nd stall opens...we go in..Jasmine declares VERY loudly...

THAT LADY TOOK A SHOWER IN HERE W/ THAT!

oh dear...snickering outside the stalls again....

I whisper "we'll talk later"

So what we do is...I hold Jasmine above the toilets now at the club too and sort spread her legs and tell her to straighten her back! me going is even MORE difficult....

So - there is NO toilet paper, not because the rod is empty IT'S NOT EVEN AN OPTION!!

Mr. Thomas said a man asked him "do you walk around w/ poop on your butt all day?"

WELL NOOOO! WE WIPE IT EASILY THANK YOU VERY MUCH!

my question back would've been

HOW IN THE NAME OF EVERYTHING SANITARY CAN YOU THINK SPRAYING YOUR BUTT WITH WATER THAT RICOCHE'S AROUND THE STALL AND ALL OVER THE PLACE.....CAN YOU POSSIBLY WANT A WET BACKSIDE ALL DAY??????????????????????????????????????????????????

The stalls are wet - everywhere...the floor, all of the toilet, etc.....they spray themselves...it shoots around and etc...then perhaps the "worker" sprays it down more? GREAT...LETS JUST WATER IT DOWN AND SPREAD IT AROUND!

I don't mean to sound so perverse and negative about the culture here when I've remained a gracious guest thus far...but THIS...THIS SENT ME OVER THE EDGE!

Maybe it was John that had the poo on your butt question asked? well anywho..you get the idea!

And so now, I'm thinking the Koreans have it best - you squat over a hole on the ground so no touching involved....then you wipe - no splashing of feces involved!

and now you know WHY I go from the sports club after the pool with wet clothes atop my swim suit w/ the locals pondering my condition

THERE IS NO WAY I WOULD EVER ATTEMPT TO CHANGE THERE...EVER!! NEEEEEEEEEEEVER!!!

Barefoot from the stall where everyone splashes their pooopy bums back to the locker room

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEW!!

some of you may be laughing...I have yet to laugh about this toilet scenario...and it's not facilities, it's not bathroom, it's not restroom.....it's TOILET. now I found if I say it to someone who only speaks E Arabic, I say it w/ a British accent of sorts and they understand me :-)

You see...Americans do NOT speak English...we speak American ;) and to clarify...I speak Michigander and lots of you know what I mean by that! HA HA HA! we drink POP, we gets stains out of carpet with soda ;)

and my best English new word is..... water with gas.

Gas for us Michiganders means "clearing the room" water with gas just sounds like a toilet experience in Cairo! LOLOL

Alas, Rob says it's sparkling water. ooooooooooooooooooooh! the lights have come on!!

I am embarrassed to admit that a movie line came to mind when thinking about the toilet at the public places......

no I'm not going to use that thing and NO I WON'T LET YOU INJECT ME W/ THE PLAGUE EITHER!!!!!!!!! (I know Beth is laughing now if she wasn't earlier!)

Our flat doesn't have the 2nd toilet aparatus in the one bathroom, remember ;) so we let visitors use that one...I'm too horrified to imagine someone using it in my home!

DYING LAUGHING NOW...
Wendy

that being said, I should tell you I plan to bake rabbit again next week - I'll get 2 and I won't attempt to cut it's head off first...the dangling head was worse than a head intact..and no I don't serve it on the table...I didn't want it looking at me! I can't eat a burger when bessy's pic is up on the wall either! HA HA HA!