Understanding my new home

If there is a 2 hour, one-time evening class I could take that would turn the light bulb on in my head, I think I'd pay dearly to attend! I may not even ask the price..just beg to be included!

I long to understand the aggression in the language. I long to not be so afraid - this is not the ptsd type of afraid, no worries on reliving that (for now) - but the deep voices shouting...I still after five months, still get the willies wondering what's next for whomever is yelling!

I long to stop interrupting meals or books or movies everytime I hear a lawnmower!

I long to understand why there's no happy medium between American families who make me pull my hair out when they bribe "Billy" to stop punching "Joey" and the families here who scream insults and throw their kids 6' across the way.

I long to understand exactly what's being said when I walk by and people laugh and point and mention that woman from Italy. I know the day is coming when I will understand, then I'll no longer need to understand how minorities in the US feel.

I long to understand why all touching is bad. Seriously? Is the world so ugly that human touch is all "dirty" :(

I long to understand why in America, people are so annoyed by children and their noise....I long to know why here in Egypt, children are truly a blessing where laughter and engaging them is the highlight of men and women's day.

I long to understand some of the "class" distinctions so as to better get a grasp on what it means when a woman or man does or does not speak to me....because it means something different for each class here, but I cannot yet understand.

and on the lines of class distinctions, I long to understand why I cannot speak to 'servants' - of course I break that rule every chance I'm given....and I do not accept praise or bowing when giving to beggars either..I am not better than them..how do I explain that?

I long to stiffle my giggles for the young men who want to know how my Egyptian husband got so lucky as to marry an Italian....then even more enthused when they find out I'm an American......they are all baffled when they find out not only do i speak Arabic but I'm not married to an Egyptian...I long to stiffle my giggles at their enthusiasm and followed response.

I long to whack my male teacher on the arm when he reminds me of my friend Bruce.....I long to stop being so aware of touching and just be comfortable with my own American boundaries...

I long to stop measuring Egypt by my own understanding.

Waleed will never understand why bugs make me scream and run...and I'll never understand why a cheese sandwich is a treasure from me, after he hangs on this rail 5 stories up to clean the windows in Joshua's room this week.



I have to tell you all that I enjoy your comments! I realize there's no real consistency to my blog - that originally so many were interested in this unique opportunity we're living out...but that now it's also an outlet for me - I appreciate that I know you're listening! I enjoy your comments! Here, via email, etc. I'm sorry for the inconsistency of my writing style, my interest of the day and the length between posts. But my inconsistency is all part of my personality ;) So thanks for loving me for all that I am! Inconsistent in mood but consistent in my depth of affection for all whom Allah puts in my path!