I remember long ago in college sociology - learning about things that really cause high risk situations...one of them is people living together in a small area. That's why crime is so high in certain parts of the US.
Doesn't seem to apply here in Egypt
EXCEPT IN MY HOME!
Coming from a lush, open area of W Michigan to a cramped, cement-walled apartment where I can spit from one end to the other without effort......
puts my kids in a high-risk situation.
There is never an escape. There is never solice or peace or stillness. I can't believe I've made it this long without complaining to you all!
"Please Joshua, if you must continue (with your add noises and jerky movements) do it in your room."
cuz of course 5' away is better than ON TOP OF ME in this cement box, right?
Then I feel so annoyed with myself for being SO petty! I am soooo happy to be a mom - I love my kids SOOOOO intensely! There are so many families here that have SO much less..and yet..have SO much more patience, wisdom, coolness about them than I do...and not ONE of them are Americans.
So are these only high risk situations in America? Should I stay here and not let my kids grow up to be so annoyed with an intrustion into "my bubble" type of thinking? Just a hypothetical question, don't answer, please!
A new friend and I here often joke about how before being here, we felt sorry for women completely veiled, sorry for the poor bedouin families, tragically pitying the extreme poverty of the world - how they don't have this that or the other thing......
it's LAUGHABLE now after living here and seeing that as I have more stuff and opportunities...I have more frustration at what I cannot attain. I am not into materialism, those who know me, know that's not what I mean. But I wonder if they're comfortable or happy...
all I notice is peace. Oh yes there's some real pain there for no opportunities, or torn opportunities....but the peace...unspeakable, unspoken peace is immeasurable and I find myself jealous.....of "them."
So they have to be veiled and marry someone they don't love.....they find joy and peace in the delight of their children
So they have no running water to bathe and keep clean by American standards and no money for frivolities....they don't need it to belong, to fit in, to be loved. They are who they are...TOGETHER! not alone..not outcast...BUT TOGETHER!
Obviously there are tragedies...like if I were here living like that...well...I'd be dead from childbirth with what happened there..and Joshua would be dead as well......do I wish I didn't have any of those conveniences? GOODNESS NO!!
Just sayin....
again..just me...just sayin....
So while Jasmine is one corner of the box whining about not having a pretty dress and Joshua is making obnoxious noises repeatedly without meaning, I will try to find peace that is outside of my box.....
and be SO glad that my box has light, water, FOOD and AIR CONDITIONING!
I am so blessed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TRULY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
and I obviously have a lot more heart growth to go, if after this long, the box is still "closing in on me"
2 comments:
Don't we all have far to go in the spiritual learning department. You are just honest while the rest of us try to justify.
Wish I could push your walls out a little for you. I did want to send you some Fall leaves though, you could put them on the wall to look at, or jump in them..but not sure of your address??
Great post Wendy girl!! Enjoy your thoughts so very much. It's all a matter of perspective isn't it? Thanks! Hugs to you!
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