ana henarga3, insha' Allah

I will return, if the Lord wills!

To Egypt, that is.....

with all the chaos here in Egypt - the politics are just "up in the air" (what an understatement). The rich are being under "country arrest" and most of them are also under very intense investigation. That being said, a ripple effect was felt by our family this week....when Rob's boss had to sell his airplane and remove the flight department....eliminating Rob and Anas' jobs.

We are being torn from Egypt. I love America!! But my home is in Egypt and with her people. The last few days have been spent in grieving and praying and waiting...I looked up the word waiting, as most of us spend most of our lives waiting. Some of you are more gracious in waiting than the rest of us...thank you for your example! I looked up the word waiting and enjoyed some of the definitions....because I could relate to them all and because a new one I prayed to relate to....anticipating something next! I found this as a positive definition....anticipating something next!

I am deeply greiving and NOT wanting to leave Egypt permanently...but I know God has some purpose for me next..and so I am anticipating something next....WITH GLADNESS! Oh but the grieving....oh...the grieving.....

yesterday, I had 3 men and 1 woman sitting with me in the apartment. We didn't talk alot...but what we said was more than words. I cried a lot, they would pat my shoulder, the woman would hug me and cry too.....and after awhilewe all dispersed. We all were "waiting" when was an ok to end these shared moments.

I realized, as I talked to my African-American friend (literally she's African American, from Zimbabwe originally, spent 12 yrs in America and is now here in Egypt)...she told me what she grieves when she leaves from visiting any African country to return to America...is the loss of innocent friendship and community...she told me I must take it with me in my heart and work hard at giving it to those in America and instilling it in my children....to not be so guarded, to not look at people wondering "what do they want from me?" and not see friendship with such guarded hearts, but to give openly and innocently and receive it openly and innocently.....

she's right! I challenge myself now to return with the love I found in Egypt and extend it to all of you! and hope you'll catch the fire and continue to spread it! It's a feeling, not a verbal synopsis....and once I'm done being overwhelmed with grief, I hope you all will feel it when you're with me!

the way we Americans hold back with our prayers and love....is tragic!

These are things I can't bring home in a box or wrap carefully in bubblewrap.....but I can let God NOT change me back ;)

I'm not sure my thoughts are clear...I'm sorry for that, but I had to get some things out for you all!

Tues Rob and Anas are leaving Egypt with Joshua to get the aircraft back to Kansas for sale.They will hop from Egypt to Paris. Wed Paris to Iceland. Th Iceland over Greenland to Goose Bay Canada. Fri Canada to Grand Rapids where we will welcome Joshua...and then the airplane w/ pilots onto Kansas. I don't know when Rob is returning to Michigan.

The kids and I will stay with my parents and are moving into the Kentwood home (which we put up for sale a couple weeks ago) April 1st.

I will return to homeschooling when I can function again after jetlag and this intense grievin.

Today we're going to sit on the Nile at one of the Coptic Churches and just "be" together with God. Tonight is the last worship with my African and expat community.

Tomorrow is the last trip to the pyramids and eating Koshari at TaHriir Square!

Sun is school for kids - tea with friends for me and more packing - I have to get it down to 5 suitcases! Sunday is the last round of food bags I will organize and distribute as well.

Monday is Khan el Khalili and falooca.

Tuesday is sending Joshua off and crying and school for Jasmine and of course each day will be spent crying and saying good bye......

Wed is making sure the apartment is empty - I've been donating to the African and Iraqi refugee community and desperately poor Egyptian community. I have sold a few things and that donating to the food ministry.

People asked me if it was this hard to make my first move from the states and I said NOPE - leaving Egypt is EXPONENTIALLY MORE DIFFICULT! why?

How can love be put into words? There are certain loves that cannot be put into words or captured and harnessed by a description! Certain loves can only be shown...can only be felt...can only be appreciated by effects put into action....perhaps if I were an artist,I could draw you a picture to help you feel what I feel....

but for now, I can only tell you that I fell in love in Egypt - WITH Egypt.

"One who drinks from the Nile will return to her one day"
~Pharonic Egyptian Proverb

I will be sure to keep posting our last days here....and I will for sure post as I adjust to life in America - I am sure my reverse culture shock will be at least slightly humorous to you all! especially clean bathrooms and the lack of splattered feces ;)